By JACQUI KLUTH
Whitefish Pilot
Whitefish, Montana
January 17, 2003

Whitefish City Manager Gary Marks said the decision for him and his wife, Laurie, to adopt two children from Kharkiv, Ukraine, was simply "a calling from God."

"It was a step of faith," Gary said. "God had called us to it and we acted on it in a leap of faith."

Laurie and Gary traveled to Kiev, Ukraine, to adopt Anton, 9, and Anastasia, 7, who lived in an orphanage in Kharkiv. The brother and sister were abandon by their parents and had been in an orphanage in Kharkiv, Ukraine, for two years.

Adam, 11, said his parents involved him and his siblings in the whole process.

"At first we were thinking about only a girl," Adam said. But he had one request: "If we get a girl, then we have to get a boy."

Gary dipped into his retirement funds for the adoption once the family decided. And it's a decision he's pleased about. While the three Marks children, Benson, Adam and Aimee, stayed with grandparents, Gary and Laurie traveled to Kiev on Nov. 30 to retrieve two new members of the family.

After 20 hours of flying and airport layovers, Gary and Laurie landed in Kiev.

"I knew I was in a different place," Gary said. "As we flew over the area we could see shacks were people must have lived. The grounds around the airport were not as kept as they are here. I was stunned."

Laurie said the Ukraine government is working to draw on Western tourist dollars and were very welcoming, but the pair were still surprised to see so many troops and an abundance of concrete and dim lighting.

"It was a depressing atmosphere and certainly a shocking arrival," Gary said. "To think it's been 12 years after they gained their independence and there is still this environment."

Waiting at the airport were their translators, who for the next few weeks would help them adopt their children and to get around the Ukraine cities. Gary and Laurie stayed in a series of three apartments, set up to host Western visitors, and a hotel Gary described as "substandard" to American tastes. But their focus was more on their task.

On Dec. 2, Laurie and Gary went to the national adoption agency in Kiev, where they were given several large books filled with pages of orphaned Ukrainian children awaiting adoption.

"There are scores of these books, these three-ring binders, and each of them has a photo and a description, but it's very generalized," Gary said. The selection process was long, tiresome and emotionally draining.

At one point, Laurie and Gary left a room where they reviewed adoption records to take a breath and regroup.

"It was hard because you know you have to say no to these children for whatever reason," Gary said. "It's heart wrenching to say no to them because you know that for whatever reason they won't fit into your family."

But, they finally narrowed their selection down to Anton and Anastasia the next morning and once they received the agency director's approval they traveled to the Kharkiv orphanage to meet the children. They took a late-model train for their overnight trip to Kharkiv, where the orphanage was located.

"In Kharkiv, I've never seen such poverty," Gary said.

Laurie characterized the Kharkiv orphanage, which housed 60 children, as old, worn and dark, but the children were fed and clothed well.

The weather at times dipped to 15 degrees below zero, keeping Gary and Laurie chilled since they walked most places. Aside from learning how to get around in a former Soviet country, the pair also learned a lot about the Ukraine culture.

The translators, who learned English from Alabama missionaries, entertained the couple with their southern accents and their transportation acquisition training. Gary said when cabs were not available the couple were led into vehicles flagged down by the translators.

Gary recalled reading an article from the Kharkiv city manager who was enacting architectural standards for the city, but assured residents not to worry. Gary, who is currently working with the city's implementation of architectural standards, was surprised to see the Ukraine people had similar challenges.

After they met the children and before the adoption was approved, Laurie and Gary were allowed to take Anton and Anastasia to the circus and to McDonald's for dinner. It was the first time the children had done any of the simple events most Americans take for granted, such as using a soap dispenser to wash hands.

Gary, Laurie and their two new children flew back to the state Dec. 19. The flight was yet another new experience for the children, who had never been on an airplane before. Once they touched down in Seattle, the exhausted pair had to not only reacquaint themselves with time differences but also with waiting in immigration and customs lines. After they cleared through all of that, they had to try to secure a ticket back to Kalispell, which they could not. So, they rented a van and began another leg of their journey.

Christmas decorations lighted the night and drew the curious children's attention as the family drove through rural areas of Washington before they stopped at a hotel in Ellensburg to sleep. On Dec. 20 they drove home to introduce their new children to their new siblings.

"That was a strange day -- introducing brothers and sisters to each other," Gary said.

But after the excitement comes reality and the fact that the dynamics of the family has changed.

"I have five kids and two of them I can't talk to. That's when the realization hit that our small family is always going to be gone," Gary said. "I mourned our small family."

But that mourning doesn't mean he's at all upset to have the two new additions.

As for Anton and Anastasia and their new life in Montana, they are adjusting to life in a Western culture, to a life where they actually own things and in a world where they are learning a new language.